Angel Of Demonic

Lost of Words

2010-11-28T04:30:00.000-08:00

Why do some people be such a snob ? Just because they have a steady job, a car on their own and get to go overseas sent by their company, they get to brag around. (I'm referring to one of my siblings) Don't even communicate with the family.

Always thought that we wanted to take her precious time away, train her to be a 24 hour housewife and we always wanted something from her. We been living together since young.

I am really in a lost of word. :(

8 months

2010-08-09T20:12:00.000-07:00

It has been 8 months since I opened my tuition centre. I did not get the time to really do blogging. Anyway, I purposely steal 60 minutes to 'snake' for a while.

I have some doubt again with my life and my personality too. So, today I took some career test online and this is what I got :

Congratulations !

Your "work personality" has been successfully calculated.

You have an optimistic outlook on life. You have a serious respect for people, and are sensitive to the needs of others. On the exterior, others see you as easy-going, calm and pleasant. However, on the inside you prefer and enjoy personal structure. In fact, your calm demeanor can quickly become assertive if one of your personal values is violated. You have depth and are often profound; but because of your reserved nature, this sometimes goes unnoticed by others.

taken from :http://www.careerfitter.com

I just don't know the reason why I am doubting myself and I still don't feel right for it. Haiz .... Maybe I need a solitude vacation again ....

New Chapter of life part 2

2010-04-26T04:20:00.000-07:00

Part 2 of my life now is fully operating. Student are catching up slowly but at least I manage to get my salary , pay up my loan and giving expenses to my family. I feel that this is a good part of my life so far.

Been busy with load of stuff. And thank god, my mother is here with me, helping and guiding me all the way through in setting up my tuition centre. There are a lot of progress and work to be done.
Thanks to Dreamzmodel.com for designing my tuition logo for me as well.

Other relatives doesn't have any confident in me doing this tuition industry. Saying all negatives opinion to me does not make me give up easily. Gambateh to Me !

New Chapter of life

2009-11-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

After graduation two years ago, i finally can do something that is meaningful to me and yet I can survive for future to come. My ambition to be what I want to be cannot be fulfilled but yet I found another dream that I never thought I would be. Even my family were shocked of what I am capable to do and have different thought about it. But as for me, I don't care of what they said.

Yesterday, I make a friend of an ex-army guy. He is a bodyguard for some 'Datuk' and 'Tan Sri' previously. He gave me a lot of idea to expand my company and add some portfolio to it. I found it very interesting for a man with limited education but yet can come out with lots of idea for business. He is a Malay man who married a chinese lady. Kind of nice to meet him and his wife. And we even become friends. He even said he can be my bodyguard if I hired him. hahahaha! never in my mind, I will have a bodyguard by my side. But his thought and his heart is good.

Progress for my tuition centre is 70%. Still need to paint 2 rooms and 4 walls from another room. Still doing half way through. I am proud of myself because I paint most of the wall and also must give credit to my sister, mother ,little brother, Jet Min and David. Even my student came to help but only 1 student. However, I am glad to have such people to help me.

My whole body is aching but hopefully my effort will bear fruit for the future to come. Another year is coming that is 2010. Wish all my friends have a better year and everything goes smoothly in their career too.

Opinion

2009-10-01T08:13:00.000-07:00

According to Longman dictionary, the word 'opinion' means your ideas or belief about a particular subject. Shortly in term to say that your ideas. It can be supported with evidence or not. However, there is one thing that I wanted to point out is why do people ask for opinion?

My sister asked me an opinion today and when I disagree with her, she said I scolded her. According to her, it is my tone of voice that sounds like I am angry and scolding her at the same time. But to me, I did not do that. I always notice she always takes the reason of my tone of voice sounds like I am angry to hit me back.

If the opinion is already made by the person to ask the opinion, they just want to have a confirmation of the ideas that they have. To make sure that the decision that they make are 100% correct and knowing that they are supported by others. However, if the opinion is rejected, meaning they are not supported.

So, my point here now is, if someone asked for my opinion, I always tell them the truth. For my sister case, she asked about the fee that should be charge on designing a packaging product. For the first project, her colleague asked her to do it of RM 900 for 4 boxes. And according to her, he will not take the recommendation fee from her. However, after finishing the 1st project, he took RM400 from my sister as recommendation fee. My sister feel so cheated. So, now coming another 2nd project and this time she wanted to discuss the payment well with him. And there comes the argument. She asked me for the fee that she should charge him. As for me, I do not know the market for the freelancing designing packaging product fee. So, I just simply give one figure for her and she said it's cheap. Then, I tell her that I do not know if it's cheap for her. And then, she tell me sarcastically about my tone of voice that sounds like I am scolding her. I feel very disappointed on her. I am very sure that I have lost my sister that I used to grow up with. *sobbing and crying silently in my heart*

13 july 2009

2009-07-12T23:00:00.000-07:00

*sigh* mood swing on a perfect gloomy Monday. It is also another sign for a good sleep. Why? Why always a good sleep is always on gloomy day. *sigh* *huh*

Examination coming in three months time. Wow ! how time just ticking away, just like that and without realising that it's already half a year gone. As for me, my clock is ticking as well to show I already another year older in 8 days. -_- *sob* haiz.....

I'll bet I am not the only one thinking this way and even my sister said that she is old. What the heck is she talking about. She is only 22. If she is old, then what am I? A walking lifeless dinosaur? geezzz....

6 July 2009

2009-07-06T02:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the late update of my life.... hehehe.... lazy + busy is my main problem here right now. Within this 2 month, some unlucky moments tend to happened and I am really not happy about it.

These are the list of the unlucky and unhappy moments:

1. friends only contact me when they need something from me .... 100% & total sadness
2. loss $$ to stupid and not well manage school ... 110% upset
3. miss my appointment with friend for Transformers movie on 27 June ... 70% sad
4. my little bro still cannot grow up and always give trouble to me ... 90% sad
5. my favourite demon fly to Australia ... 80% sad

Well, that's it. That's is all I can think of. Haiz ... bad luck to me ... I wish I get some luck coming into my life.

Vacation

2009-05-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

Supposedly holiday should be a happy,fun, memorable and a relaxing trip to be. Why I say happy, well, it is because it is with whom you be with, fun would be the activity that you do, memorable that is taking pictures, having a romantic time with your spouse or make some things to be remember as long as you could. As for relaxing would mean to have tranquility or simple to say to ease your mind, body and soul. Enjoy the scenery nearby the beach on a evening sunset, listening to bird chirping, listening to wind humming through your ears or just drink a cup of nice coffee or tea enjoying the scenery of a view of a 'kampung' village.

Looking at old lady walking along with her hubby side by side one hand holding a bag of fruit and the other holding each other. I feel so romantic as an old couple for them. Married for 48 years and still in love. As they walked nearer, in my heart I say, " Oh my god ! That old couple is my grandma and grandpa." What a shock. It's been so long now. I never seen such a lovey old couple. I never see my parents do that. Speaking of them. I am glad to be my mom daughter but I am disapointed to have such a father. Oh wait ! come back to my grandparents.

As they walked in the house, I quickly offer my help to take the fruit and help my grandma climb the stairs and later my grandpa. Got to help both. If not, one of them get jealous and I will get in trouble. hahahaha! So, my grandpa change his cloth and my grandma quickly prepare lunch for us. I did not offer my help to grandma and what I do is sit at the sofas and look at my grandparents one day activity. My grandpa get his old glasses, taking his favourite China Press newspaper along with him and there landed his old butt at his favourite sofas while my grandma continue chopping and stirring her vegetables. My grandma do not like people mess with her cooking so that's why I just sit back and relax.

After 45 minutes of cooking, finally lunch arrive. Stomach growling asking and begging for food. So, I prepare the rice, get water and help grandma to get the dishes to the table. As we enjoying the food, we chit chat a little and in no time we finish everything. And that where the best part comes. My grandpa took all the dishes and wash it while my grandma sit down and relax. As he clean, he sings his favourite chinese song which I do not understand and after a few second, my grandma sings along as though they are in a karaoke session. Later on, they dance side by side while still singing. At that moment, I feel that my mom grows up in a lovely family who cares nothing but loves. She grows up in a good family while my father is the opposite. argghhh.... dun care about him anyway, back to my gran gran. Lovely couple indeed. I am really happy to have them as my grandparents.

Nothing is more important than your family, that is what my grandpa always tells me. When we get around with positive people, we tend to be positive as well. I think is true. Good family environment is essential for a child. Some take money to buy love for their child. And they think providing what a child need is more important. That is my father said to me. But I think it is not. Concern is more important. As we watch dramas or movies about a child grows up to be unhappy adult because the parents always overseas working and seldom at home to be with their children. What a children want is always for their parents to be with them. As they grow, parents should water them with love and most of all concern. I only get concern and love from my mother.

Ok, then that's is all for today. Just came back from Taiping trip visiting my grandfolks. Such a memorable scene I have this time. Wish them well as always.

Realize

2009-04-29T03:46:00.000-07:00

I realize something. It is about the future generation nowadays. At the age of 15, we tend to be independent to do things on our own. But now at the age of 15, they are overly protected by their parents.

On the last March school holiday, I organize a camp to Jungle Lodge for 3 days and 2 nights stay.
Usually we pack only our necessary things that we need to use, right. For example, clothe, pants, lingeries, shampoo, toothbrush and etc. But what makes me want to laugh till my heart stop is there's a boy who brings his 'Chicken Little' pillow. He claimed that there might not be pillows during the camping and if there are pillow, it's smell bad. What the hell is the parents thinking about? Don't they know camping is suppose to be NOT comfortable. At that very moment, I thought of laughing but I dare not. Because his parent is with him together at that time. Haiz....
What happen to the children now ? ! Why don't they just bring their 'whole house' during camping! jeezzzz.... However, the whole camping trip is fun.

So, that is first thing I realize.

Second things I realize is teenager has learnt a skills call 'Play Dumb' ( meaning act stupid).
What I meant in Play Dumb is they tend to act stupid so that they do not need to do things when their elderly asked them to do. One magic word " I don't know how to do it " or " I don't understand " always makes the magic work. So, when they tend to have this kind of attitude, what will happen if they go out to work in future. A big "DUNNO" sign must stick at their forehead so that people will not ask them anything. What a frustration !

Thirdly, "Dun Care " or we can say " Tidak Apa" attitude. I quote this sentence from my tuition student "So what, not my business, everyone else can do it. Less people like me make no big differences" and this " Never mind la ! Cincai ( simply) do it, can already. " What the heck they have in their mind. If they continue to think this way, I think one day our Malaysia will fall with this kind of future generation as our future leader.

Fourth, well, yet to come as I keep on teaching this pathetic and poor moral education student. I always try my best to advised aka brain wash them about life is not that simple as they think. Too naive, I dare to describe them.

Well, hope + advised = positive changes, that I wish to see in few months to come.

And so sorry that I did not update my blog. I update now because my demons ask me to do so. So, got to fulfill it ..... hahahahha.

15 feb 2009

2009-02-15T02:55:00.000-08:00

Since my last blog, I always trying to spend a little time to do my blogging. However, work keeps on pouring down like water. It's kind of good sign for me working as I am the boss and also I am the worker. I still continue to teach tuition as the income so much better than sitting in the office. But till I cannot find the time for my own. I need to relax my mind. Since the school starts, I can't get enough sleep and I think I am suffering from insomnia. Nevertheless, I do enjoy the company of the student who really wanted to improve themselves.... hahaha.... feel so happy teaching.

I think the teaching line flows in my blood. My grandfather is a teacher, my mother is a teacher and now I wanted to become a teacher. It's flow in the family. Kinda cool when I think of it.... I do not wish to follow my father family side. Although they are richer than my dad but at least we get to buy our own house. Get to keep a pet on our own. Going out for vacation without informing anyone and most of all, we get to make our own decision.... hahahaha.....

Valentine day,nothing much to do but to watch movie with a friend who just broke up. But she seem to be fine. I can see that she is a tough girl. Emotionally and physically as well. We went to watch The Curious Case Of Benjamin Buttons. Super great show even though it is only two people in the movie and the scripts is so meaningful. It tells us something. Do not regret for the things that have been done but regret for the things that we did do and don't blame it to FAITH.
We went to watch midnight movie. It is the first time I watch that late.... hahaha...

Well, just need to say for this Valentine Day that hope all the people spread their love not only to their mates but as well to all the living things on earth.

5 Dec 2008

2008-12-04T22:49:00.000-08:00

It's been 2 months since my last update. Finally, got the time to blog. Many things happened for this year and the next coming 2 weeks will be another new year. It seem things happened one after another, things that will become part of my memory and my history. So, last update I did said about wishing my PMR student good luck and speaking of that, I worked at Sek. Men. Sri Bestari since last August till Nov 14 as a temporary teacher. As for now, I continue my tuition job again (hurray happy to be off from that school ) ..... I am so glad that I could help my UPSR student in her exam and her result is more than I could expect. Eventhough, she did not get all A's but at least she pass her BM and get credit in her English..... (thank god ) Her parent are so happy to look at her result and her mother even tell me that her daughter do not need to sell ' Bak Kut Teh'for living now..... I wonder why she said that .... anyway I also don't bother to asked either..... hahahaha !

10 Oct 08

2008-10-09T18:13:00.000-07:00

ok i do not know what to blog for today but i just feel i wanted to do it. There are too many things to write and too many thoughts to express out. I just do not know which one to pick...... haiz .... however I am doing fine with my job. Oh ya! i found one !

I wanted to wish all my Form 3 student Good Luck! with your PMR exam on the 13th Oct that is on Monday.

Speaking of PMR, it reminds me of my old days when i am having my PMR year. Time flies so fast and it just look like a blink of eye. Phooph ! It's over now. During those days, i am taking my PMR but now who knows that i am teaching PMR subject...... hahahahaha.... who would ever think i am a teacher in school and giving tuition to them as well. Good luck, my lovely student !

7 October 2008

2008-10-07T00:05:00.000-07:00

Sitting at the staff room One on a after rain Tuesday noon making me very droopy and sleepy. My nose is stuffy and my head is dizzy. Fever for the second time in two weeks. I must be really tired from work.

I thought after PMR due next week will have a nice holiday but yet i have start packing for my new house. yup.... moving again ! But this time i am staying alone. Yippppeeeee! So happy !

Different View

2008-08-04T23:34:00.000-07:00

When I was a student, i used to stand an assembly that crowded with 200 ++ student in the hall. Listening to lame announcement, singing the national anthem and waiting to go back to class.

And now, I doing that too but in a whole different view. As student, i stand at the hall with my friends, now I am standing at the side corner which is different from the student with the teacher beside me.

When there is an event happening, we were forced to sit at the hall that is full of dirts and sand. I hate that moment. Making my dress dirty. But now, i am sitting at the teacher position, every student scanning their teacher whenever they can the chance and it is just exactly the same as what i did during my school days.

Now, I began to understand the pain of a teacher. No wonder, teacher nowadays are not motivated to teach. This is because the student is so out of control. However, i believed RESPECT is like a mirror effect. I am not justifying that teacher is right all the time and the student is wrong all the time. Making balance, someone give and someone take. That is the rule of life.

However, it is totally different ..... it seem i can cope with the school here . But there is a question for me right now .... Will i be doing this for the rest of my life? .... is this my career now? ..... what about my dream ? ....

This few question will take time to answer as now i am testing myself to see whether do i like this job or not ....

Masterpiece

2008-07-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

Masterpiece: Dragon & Phoenix Lamp ( LONG FONG)
Product from : IKEA
Creator : RAE CINE ( me)

The first and the last picture is a half done piece of art work. Meanwhile as you can see the second and the third picture is a completed piece of art work.

So how is it ? Is it ok for a gift ? I did it because one of my friend is getting married somewhere around November and I can't think of suitable gift for her. And while i was walking and hunting around Ikea and THAT IT! an idea strike in my head when i saw the lamp.

So when you light it up, it will become like this : (below) Dragon ( LONG)

Phoenix ( FONG)

So that it, all I need to do now is to hand it to my lovely friend. SO lucky she got my first piece of art.... hahahahaha.... don't worry my other friend when your time has come, you too will get my first art piece.... then don't be jealous ya !

Fuel

2008-06-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

Fuel goes up, so what ! Rice goes up, so what !

Last Saturday, I went to Mid Valley to meet my friend and do some catching up too. So she asked me whether to watch movie or not.... so i just agree with her. I thought that few people will be in the cinema for a 'Q'. Shocking scene is that the Q is so damn long till we have to Q up almost in front of the entrance of GSC cinema.

So what! Price goes up almost everything and our government asked us to changed our lifestyle. Yet people still with their own lifestyle as before.... I see that nothing has change.

As for me, i did changed a bit in my lifestyle. But i still cannot withstand my love towards book.... haiz ...
I almost become a bookworm if i still stay in my room after my work. Other youngster, after work they go out either for a date or enjoy with friends. Happy hour people say ... hahahaha.... but to me, i do not find pleasure in doing so. I find peace and quiet of serene moment with my book. Sometime my mom worried about me for not being social enough with others.... i always calm her with fate will come when it is time.

I know, fate sometime need to be accomplish by our own hand ... but i have no confident in man when i sees my family man in such of not suppose to be as a man. I do not see good quality in my family man. Maybe I need to be convinced or to be proved that such person is worth to be called as a man of all the gentleman.... hahaha.... might be to demanding or to complicated for me to explain but i still LOVE my book !

13th Friday 2008

2008-06-28T08:27:00.000-07:00

sheeshhh ! too many things happen recently and one of them is this stupid friday 13th. According to belief, it is an unlucky day for people. At first I do not belief it but something happened....*_* or can it be coincident to happen on that very Friday itself.... grrr.... feel to geram when i think of it ...

lol.... wat an unlucky day for me ! sprain my left foot and i need about 2 month for full recovery....
How it happen ? don't ask ... of course i mis-step my leg la ... apa lagi .... grrrr!

Well, my point about this Friday 13th is about belief. Do you belief in something that you cannot see, touch, smell or sense ? Lucky and unlucky thingy happen all the time. It just that whether it happen to you or others. Different race have different belief that been pass down from generation to generation. For the western, Friday 13th is one of them. As for the Chinese, mostly look on horoscope of the day or of the month and many more ....

And for me, i do not know what to belief ..... I kind of skeptical about this belief thing. But that friday is it a unlucky day or just a coincident for me to sprain my leg .... who knows ?

However, my leg is fine now... only that I can't walk fast and walk too long ... so sorry to all my dear friends if i wanna find a sit to have my leg rest or i can't go out with you gals for the moment .....haiz ....

RAIN DROP

2008-06-04T03:27:00.000-07:00

'Tip! Tip! Top! Top! ' ,
the sound of the rain drop,
bit by bit till it never stop,
the pouring rain,
wash away my pain,

As i hear it drop,
I feel so glad,
when the rain washing away my bad,
my bad luck that never stop,

From the bottom of my heart,
i wish for happiness,
and i never seem to got,
but sadness came a lot,

Wash, wash, wash,
to make a way,
for me to stay,
to have a happy day.

NO ONE

2008-05-19T06:55:00.001-07:00

Haiz ... I am still not satisfied coz i hav no one to talk too. No one to share my pain. Those days are gone. I have a true friend during high school. We talk all our problem and we share our happiness and pain together. But now, she couldn't be with me. She have to pursuit her ambition.

Everyone i know is busy. Busy pursuing their life with joy and laughter. Having a sister is like not having one. What's the differents? Having a family it seem like none too.

My pain and sorrow, I have to keep it on my own. Put it in the bag and collect it until it cannot be kept no more. Having my tears rolled down, it's not worth at all.

Telling it out like talking to a wall.

My sister and father look down on me as they look high up for themself. The only defence i can do is to shut myself in the room and not talking to anyone.

I feel like crying but i afraid my mom will know i am weak and sad. Where is the lending hand when i need the most? There is no one.

NO ONE, NO ONE, NO ONE

Don't Care attitude

2008-05-19T06:02:00.000-07:00

I am wondering is this 'don't care attitude ' is in genetic that pass down from generation to generation or that person himself or herself really do not want to care because of it is not their responsibility to care. Selfish i think and it is the most suitable word to describe this particular person. As for myself, i cannot have this 'don't care attitude' in me. Even how much i hate that person, i still take do care about their feeling and safety. Some say i am stupid enough to have 'caring' attitude but i cannot help myself for feeling this way..... *sigh*(stupid me!)

Today I am really dissapointed in my sister and father thinking, attitude and behavior. They think alike and they acted alike. Selfish and only care for their own benefit. Whatever they do in the family, it is not from their sincere heart but they do it just because they are obligated to contribute to their family. Simple to say "FORCED TO DO IT".

Jet Min, my little bro is having an exam tomorrow. Me and my mom was busying preparing our notes for our student. David is studying for his exam so cannot disturb him. Only she and my dad are the most free person in the family. When i asked her to teach him, she replied me "WHY SHOULD I TEACH HIM, HE IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY, IT IS MOM RESPONSIBILITY."

What the h*ll! How could she say that? Does it mean Jet Min is not her bro? or Did she really sees Jet Min as family? or Did she really takes us as family?

Father as usual watching movie or sleeping in his room. But when he came down, asking Jet Min to read and JM refuse , terus JM kena whack.

What the s*it! What is he trying to show or trying to tell the little one! Stupid action! n He is NOOB OF ALL NOOB. Same goes to my sister.

Don't care attitude really gets into my nerve. I really feel wanted to grilled both of them. maybe that i can do it in my dream.

Really frustrating seeing them in the house. My life would be at ease if both are not in sight.

Plz someone take them away!

Trash

2008-04-20T20:35:00.001-07:00

Some one once said to me "We must respect the elderly people as they are the older generation that we only have."

But to me, I can't give my respect to him, my so called grandfather. How can I respect him as a human being as he acted like a trash at home.

whenever i saw his face and big belly, I sometime wish that he is not with us in the first place. But there is a time where i pity him for being a outcast in the family.

It seem there is an angel and a devil beside me. The angel whisper to me to be patience with him but i agree to the devil more to ignore him totally at home and express anger in front of him..... haiz

I know that i am in wrong and it is my bad. But i just can't help controlling my anger when his face appear in my eyes. Mom always scold and advice me to control my anger. I have to have anger management control.

Now what i am doing to control my anger is to put RM1 note in my piggy bank whenever i am angry. I wanted to see how much can i collect in 3 month time starting today.... hahahahaha.... good idea, right !

Starting anger management piggy bank : 21 April 2008
Expiry date for anger management piggy bank : 21 July 2008

I Thought i loss it but I Found it

2008-04-09T05:46:00.001-07:00

wow.... what a day i had today! Worrying for something that is all along with me .... but why can't i see or remember at the first place..... geeshhh.... i must be old already despite i am only in my 20's ( sorry can't tell my real age... bleh )

Regarding my title today, i thought i loss but i found it eventually. What a relive! *phew* (sweat)

So, to some people might think that this is a small amount or not a big deal to them but now i realize how important that a number can do to our life. In reality, every one of us is related to a number. Number of our time being born to this world, the date of our birth, our identity number, our car number, our house number and the list goes on and on and on .......even how many time we goes in and out of the toilet, it's still relate to numbers.

But what i am trying to point out is the most important number since the day we are created in our mom womb is $$ ( MONEY). Some must be wondering why do i said that.... well, since the day we in our mom womb, our parents have a planning for us. That is to save $$, am i right?
So, to start a family, we need $$, even we die when this $$.

To me, when i was a little girl, i thought $$ is just a paper to exchange something that we want. But now i realize that even a small amount of $$, plays a very great part of our life. Some will change their behaviour due to their endless amount of $$ they have, and some is just enough for them. I almost lost RM 40 today. Maybe to some is just a small amount. But to me, i feel it is kinda big amount. With that amount, i can buy a smile for my little brother when he get back from school ( McD). With RM40, i can pay my bills, i can fill up my tank, i can even have a great meal on my own. It is not that, i do not have money, but now i realize that $$ is not just a paper. $$ is life for me. However, i found RM40 in my black slack pocket. So clumsy i am. Make myself panicked for nothing. But it teaches me another point of importance numbers and the realisation of $$.

PATHETIC MALE

2008-03-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

Long pointed and dark tan charcoal face sticking out like an ostrich. Whoever with eyes can see his pointed 'Adam Apple' poking out his neck. When he walk, he look like an ostrich!
Now i am waiting for a day .... just a day .... to get my revenge on him!

Another pathetic male species that i could describe :

Square round shape with small eyes and no eye brow. You can hardly see his eye brow. He also got a big round of 11 month belly taking most of the space when you with him. He got a brain of Eistein and a mouth of a canon ball with no bullet inside. He is 20% smart and 80% noob when comes to making decision. But his IQ gets improved to 60% smart and 40% noob when he is gambling. Making another woman in his life miserable ! And is that what we call A MAN ! geesssshhhh! Please someone slap me ! to open up my eyes !

Nerve cracking every single second I lay my eyes on them, hear their voice and live together under one roof. Curse all the male in this house !

Oooh ... i'm old now

2008-03-02T05:52:00.000-08:00

It just happened where my youngest brother , Jet Min saying that "Always complain about me !"

This is the word I've been saying to my parents once when I am a little girl ( i dun remember how old i am at dat time) But wat i do remember is dat i did say the same and exact word that Jet Min been saying. The only difference between me and my bro is he is saying to me while i am saying it to my mom and dad.

I found it weird when i heard him saying that sentence. When my mom heard that, she just laugh and said "Hey, your bro said that to you, YOU ARE OLD NOW !"

Well, frankly to speaking, I do find I kind of old while I am only in the early 20's...haiz ....

Now I finally understand what my mom been through growing us up. With tans of patience and endless love for us, she always make us as her number one priority.

I do remember, when i think i am around 6 or 7 years old, my mom gave tuition to other people and some a lot of money just to buy me and my sister a set of mickey mouse and friends airport set. With donald and daisy duck character, and a plane with mickey mouse as the pilot and minnie mouse as a flight attendance. Me and my sister was so happy when we get our new toys. We sometimes sleep together with it. Hahahaha.....!

Since in the year of 1999 till now, 2008, I've seen my little brother grown up. From my mother womb (feotus) till a little boy now ( he is going to 9 yrs old this coming 31 March), I can bet not many big sister or bis brother can see their little bro or sister grow up with their very own eyes and remember every minutes and step taken by their little bro or sis. Maybe some been through what I've been through. But not many in this generation seen what I have seen.

I also finally understand the reason of my mom crying when she canned us or pushed us out of the house ( by the way, dat is how she punish us when she can't find the cane (rotan), we hide it somewhere ... he he he ) My heart ache when I canned my little bro and while seeing him cry, my tear suddenly flows down and then, of course, I would not let my bro to see my cry. I quickly ran to my room and shut the door and let my tears flows down like a rainfall. Then something strike in my mind and i finally understand my mom condition at that very moment.

When I tell this story to my mom and asked why do I feel this way, I just do not understand why ! Her answer to me is simple "ENDLESS LOVE, my dear. This is your love to your family. It's ok to feel this way." ( oh god ! now when i write this blog, my tears is about to come out again)

Haiz .... my mom even told me that some people take a long time to understand this. For example, when they get married and have their own children, this parent will feel the same pain of what their parent felt before. She also told me that sometime I am too early to understand but now I finally feel part of their pain. My life is just a beginning......

Sweet Days Are Gone

2008-02-29T06:00:00.000-08:00

Those days are gone but will be forever recorded in our so called memory. The memory during the university time. Some will choose to forget and some will choose to remember.

As I will choose both. Some must be wondering why i choose to forget and to remember .... hmmm... let me see ..... hmmmm !

Well, I choose to forget when there is some bad ppl who always make me sad. Hurt my feeling and using me to get something when they needed me. Taking advantage is the exact word to say. The list goes on and on and on ..... ! Lecturer who torture us with stupid assignment and sometime did not specify what they actually need especially during the First Year First Semester.

From that very moment, my life chapter begins ....! Friends in and out of my life, just like a tissue. You use it when you need it, and then you throw in when you are done using it. That is how my life evolved around until almost the end of the First Year.

Now second chapter of my life will be a little bit of entertainment where i finally found a collective that I called them my True Friend (TF). The one who really be by yourside when you need them the most. Sometime when i have a problem especially when it is about my mom and dad issue, i need an ear to listen not a mouth who talks only about themself all night long.

I have a friend once who do all the stupid stuff with me. Although she is from a different race, but she always be my number 1 TF list. She always listen to me and cheers me up when i am down. She do not like to gif advice as she always said there is no point in giving advice because you already know what to do in your mind. I will always remember her words to me....*tears filling up my eyes now*

However, i can't find her after I moved to Rawang and we lost contact already. Just really wish to find her back.

Now, coming back to TF story, as my life goes on and on every second tickling in the clock, I met another friends that make my life in University days much more happier. This group of gang kind of fun to be with. We went for movie together, take dinner, lunch and breakfast together, and the most final things that we really enjoyed together are A vacation to Sungkai, Taiping lake, Bagan Serai and eating Chicken Taugeh Noodle in Ipoh.

Haiz.... just wish i go back time and do that all over again. The only things that i regreted the most is Why I did not get to know them during the First Year? Why only at the end of the Final Year we get so much memory together.

However, I am happy that we have so much great time as long as we know each other. Thank you my friend for giving such great memory to me. Thanks a million.